Happiness is profoundly linked with our spirits. Joy is tied up with how much we have grown spiritually. Every suffering causes us to grow, but suffering alone does not do it, unless it passes three stages.
The first stage is going through the actual hardship or experiencing the element or the phase of suffering. It is pretty easy to recognize the first stage, since our emotional, mental, physical and /or spiritual discomfort levels tell us very clearly. The second stage is the acceptance of its need. When we stop wondering and asking “why did that happen to me?” or when we no longer wonder about why what happened to us, is a sign that we have passed the second stage. The third stage is understanding its purpose and using it as a lighthouse with grace.
We might have become quite a veteran and very good at handling gimmickry, we might have learned a lot as well and become truly experienced, we might have become very tough headed, but if we are still bitter after a test in time, we have perhaps not yet truly fulfilled the need for which we were made to suffer in the first place. If we opt for sarcasm in our language, we still have resentment in our heart. If we still feel difficult to trust in people, we still have fears in us.
When we can genuinely smile back at people without judging them or when we are left with no resentment in us or when we can truly thank people for doing all that to us but at the same time when we can truly see our own mistakes and wrong doings that we had done to others in the process, when we can love again, we have suffered with grace.
Every process of suffering that takes place and ends with grace fruits into deep intrinsic joy, a sudden self trust and an unmistakable sense of calmness that is spread to others. Suffering with grace is the first step towards sainthood.
People suffer with only a minority part being able to understand and accept the reasons. A fewer use it for growth and a far less suffer with grace. No doubt, saints are not abundantly found.
From the collections of Hassan Bukhari. Read the opening pages of The Happiness Manual — free, or explore the coaching programs.